Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Bored Cruel C.O.

The final tally is in.

My brilliant strategic move of advertising on BCO, the board crewcial.org message board was a numbing success. My Google Ad campaign cost me a grand total of $73.32 (I have a balance!) It created 178,059 "impressions" or ethereal mental thought "sightings." These resulted in 508 "clicks," or willful decisions to validate stevenwarran's trauma by paying him a visit and seeing what he was up to. These visitor's personal information has been recorded for future misuse.

Over two days 823 board crewcial habitees paid calls (with duplication of course.) This led to 1205 page loads. Today, alas, only 26, mostly none-bco callers have come, which proves, what the Lord giveth, the Lord doth taketh away.

Butt my true tactical achievement was in getting access as a bco board member for an entire 24-hour period! I danced! I sang! I bantered with the best of them! It was like waking up inside a Roman Gladiator movie! But like Cinderella, at the stroke of midnight, I was returned to my humdrum existence, my F-14, a mere pumpkin, my strapping serving wenches, just mice.


Technical data: (I was "bidding" $5 per thousand impressions but when I noticed in the afternoon I was getting "bumped" by other ads I raised my Max CPM to $40 to show I really meant business, but my CTR remained at 33% and my average CPM has stayed steady at $0.36 or $0.37.

You'll have to figure out what all this means by visiting Google AdWords yourself as it is all over my head, although I did learn a new Greek word today: Apokatastasis, which is the transformation of satanic energy to celestial energy, so...la...de...da.

My visitor activity as of Wednesday afternoon had 517 page loads by 338 unique visitors, 48 of whom are returnees, as compared with 30 unique visitors Tuesday and a total so far this month of only 979, so my bell curve is suddenly looking very Matterhorn-esque. Many, if not most, of the additional 142 visitors were referred by that pair of delicious threads BCOers found it necessary to start processing their feelings about me, me, me, me.

We are very gratified by the quality of our visitors too, with lots of high-tone academic nefarious-sounding business going on, and visits often lasting many hours in some cases! Thank you all very, very much!

Be careful what you wish for:
And I would very much like to have a BCO account identity and password emailed to me-thanks, bethx, for suggesting it (and is that you bitchy michele? What happened? Are you getting the blocks put to you regular like so you dropped the adjective?)

This present situation isn't the wisest way to communicate. Perhaps some things would be better left unsaid in such a wide context, or perhaps one or the other of us would care to finesse a discussion of some sort--you understand I'm sure.

As far as personal visits, I only will allow Aaron Michael Levinthal and Karle Durante entrée into my sacred precincts, but if Try-V was "trying" to be familiar and nice by giving me a nickname, "steve-o," he might could also come if he changes that a bit to "Little Stevie Wonder." Otherwise, he should try Niagara, in a barrel.

10 comments:

  1. http://quotation-marks.blogspot.com/

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  2. solve my ciphers now you slacker

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  3. Look at me, still talking when there's science to do!








































































    ....on the people who are still alive.

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  4. Good news. I figured out what that thing you just incinerated was. It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the enrichment center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the enrichment center with a deadly neurotoxin.

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  5. OMG I thought it was the commas I take out and the commas I leave in.

    Now quotation marks!

    What's next? Italics?

    Question marks?

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  6. Go ahead and leave me
    I think I'd prefer to stay inside
    Maybe you'll find someone else to help you
    Maybe Viva La Vinyl
    That was a joke, haha, fat chance

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  7. want to buy my bco account
    email me, picklehammer at msn dot com

    ReplyDelete